Sara Campbell - Nowhere to Hide

“If you want to get it, you have to become it. But you already are it, so why worry about it?” - Yunju Daoying

On the first of our talks recorded live from the Fall Retreat, Sara takes us on a personal walking tour of personal ambition. How do we balance the desire to make something of ourselves while still staying true to the spirit of Zen? Along the way we get some Alan Watts hot takes, and a deep dive into Dogen’s “It” (Inmo). What is it? How do we fit into it? And how exactly do we get up off the ground by using the sky, Dogen?? Find out here!!

Dave Cuomo - One Bright Mistake

What's your intention? What's your aspiration? What are you doing it for? Maybe it’s a delusional question to a goalless practice, but they're going to ask it. Just because it's a silly question doesn't mean you get out of answering it.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave unpacks everyone’s favorite Zen quote of ultimate exoneration, Dogen’s “One Continuous Mistake,” and unveils the brand new ACZC logo about said Great Mistake. Along the way Dave opens up about his curiosities and concerns about his upcoming training in Japan, and how his military upbringing both did and did not prepare him for this life of tough love compassion. Is no one really judging our practice? Is Zen really encouraging us to always get it wrong? What is the one fool proof way to mastering perfect bread baking??? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - “Slumming It” (Vimalakirti Sutra ch 10 & 11)

When I read the old literature, the Zen Masters are never my role models. I identify with the idiot monks who don’t get it. Like, how do I humble myself to what I don’t understand? How do I respond to what I’ll never feel capable of? That helps me relax. It might even help me be more virtuous.” - Dave Cuomo

Vimalakirti opens up a portal to a sweet smelling alien pure land to order some lunch, while those blissed out beings get curious about what it’s like to have problems and pop over to our little Saha World to see what life is like on the wrong side of the karmic tracks. Will they be able to appreciate the gritty realism of our little corner of paradise? Why is our Buddha so hard on us with all of his tough love truths when other Buddhas teach just by smelling good? Is our messy world a practice opportunity or a perfection we’re just too ignorant to see? Will Shariputra and the gang remember to get the recipe for the best rice in the galaxy? Find out here!!

Gyokei Yokoyama - “Leave No Trace”

“You can be afraid of ghosts and other evils, but you cannot label them your enemies. You help others like you scratch your back. There's no distinction.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Altruism, we all know it’s good, but why does it often feel so oppressive? Or, is it even possible to not live a life of service if we’re being really honest about what we’re doing here?? Digging into the classic Shushogi (a refreshingly intelligible extract from Dogen’s Shobogenzo) Gyokei digs us up some answers from the rural farm villages of his youth, to the ghosts, zombies, and other evils of today that just might be the perfect gateways to our own liberation.

Heather Ross - Something Special (What Am I Doing Here??)

“I’ve had the experience of sitting zazen and just watching the dust bunnies blow around and thinking ‘this is great…’

It feels ordinary, and exciting, because only good can can come out of that sense of boring - showing up and hanging out without a lot of expectations.” - Heather Ross

In our ongoing series where brave sangha members bring us the story of what they’re doing and why they’re  here, Heather takes the hot seat to tell us all about ambition and being special, wanting to be special, the beauty of boredom, and the quest for the coolest Zen center that led (for better or for worse) to us, the most avowedly disappointing place in LA. What makes some people stick around for a practice predicated on disappointment, when the normal reaction would be to go find the fun? Is the pursuit of special the dominant religion in our culture? What exactly is the beauty of boredom?? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - Bursting the Bubble

“This practice is not about me. I love noticing that - bowing and realizing that however it’s going for me is not the point of being here.

The beautiful thing about retreat is that it’s not really about your experience. You go up there, go into silence, try not to be late for things, stumble along, do the ceremonies and chants, eat in silence together... The whole thing takes on the character of its own living organism. It's a small way of tasting what it's like to live without it being about you, what you're getting out of it, or what you're going through. That's letting go of the ultimate attachment, the ultimate illusion. That's the benefit.” - Dave Cuomo

 

Dave gives a pep talk for retreat (and zazen in general) with a brass tacks talk on meditation. Armed with a smattering of his favorite meditation instructions throughout history, we look at their evolution from precise and seemingly sensible earlier teachings, to the perfectly inexpressible of later Zen. How do we make sense of a practice that’s trying to free us of the need to make sense? What do they mean by reversing the direction of our hearing inward? Or as Manjushri so poetically puts it, how do we stand up in empty space when space disappears and the bubble bursts?? Find out here!!

Gyokei Yokoyama - Call and Response

“It’s like burning a field. Out of the ash comes a true greenery - a greenery which knows the burning of the land… It’s a call and response. It’s having a trust that they're not trying to kill us inside. But actually it’s a way to strengthen that uniqueness that's embedded in us - but a uniqueness that does not confront or contradict what is.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei digs deep practical truths out of the meeting of Eastern Collectivist culture and Western Individualism. Revealing and poetic metaphors ensue! Is it possible to fully be our own unique piece of the puzzle while still fitting into the big beautiful picture?? Find out here!!

Dave Cuomo - House Style

“I don't think we should be intentionally changing who we are and how we do things here. I also don't think we should be willfully static and so stuck in our ways that we forget that change is the natural function of everything all the time. If we think about it that way, what we are will take care of itself. I think. I could be wrong.” - Dave Cuomo

 Dave takes us on an autobiographical tour of zazen to try to figure out if ACZC has a house style (spoiler alert: yes we do!), and if so, should we (spoiler alert: does it matter?)?? Is there a right way and a wrong way to teach Zen? If we throw practitioners into the deep end of emptiness on day 1 are we setting them up to sink or swim?? Is there a reason this sangha is such good company, or did we just get lucky?? Find out here!!

Erik Andersen - Take It Easy

“People say zazen is hard, so it’s important to check in - are you stressing out about it? Are you taking it too harsh? Are you trying too hard? Are you disappointed with your Zen? Are you waiting for something to happen? Consider taking it easy. Stop waiting for anything to happen and just watch… Zen is the easy path, the very easy path. It doesn’t need to add stress.” - Erik Andersen

You’re busy, we’re busy, Erik’s busy… which becomes the perfect opportunity for a delightfully lighthearted meta commentary on how we deal with overwork, burnout, trying too hard, and running ourselves ragged trying to clean the corners of our already spotless minds. Shouldn’t a book literally called “The Book of Serenity” offer some relief from our stress? What do they mean there’s “someone who’s not busy” and can we copy their notes? Are two moons better than one??? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - Thunderous Silence (Vimalakirti Ch 9 - Non Duality)

“Don't try to improve at all. Just try to understand what a nut you are. Be patient with it. Marvel at it - ‘What a dummy I am, it’s unbelievable that I still do this, and it's perfect the way I do it because I've been conditioned so perfectly, so exquisitely. My mother and father were so perfect in making me as neurotic as I am.’” - Norman Fischer

Birth & death, blame or blessings, life or liberation?? In this epic stand alone chapter of the Vimalakirti Sutra, Dave takes us on a walk through Non Duality in Buddhism, as poetically descried by the great Bodhisattvas (with a little commentary help from the also great Norman Fischer). Is everything really all one? What does it even mean to say that? Can us puny mortals experience such a thing? Is Non Duality just another heady philosophical wormhole or is there something to it that can actually transform our lives in this mundane workaday world we all know and love? Find out here!

Emily Eslami - The Worst Horse

“A Zen master's life could be said to be so many years of one continuous mistake. This means so many years of one single minded effort.” - Shunryu Suzuki

Is it possible to be good at this practice? It is possible to be good at life? Would we really be better off if we were? Emily continues her deep dive into Shunryu Suzuki’s foundational “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” with the classic parable of the four horses of Zen - the best, the best of the worst, and all those in between. Which one are we? Why are these Zen masters always so excited about making mistakes? What’s so good about being bad?? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - Space Dust (Host and Guest)

”My job isn't to not make mistakes, it's to figure them out. That's the fun of it. They’re not really mistakes. They’re what I’m supposed to be doing.” - Dave Cuomo

Who’s actually driving this car? Is anyone really steering the ship?? If we are not our thoughts, then who’s making our choices, and do we have any agency in that? Dave looks at a history of classic (and lovely) Zen writings on host and guest, little-self/big-self, and all the space in between to try to get us some answers.

Erik Andersen - “An Unfortunate Sequence of Events” (Sacred or Mundane?)

“This moment is not sacred. It's not mundane. It's weird. Find the weirdness.” - Erik Andersen

Erik takes a loving look at the cold hard truth that this might be as good as it gets. Is the world a good place at heart? Or is it as inherently corrupt as it seems? Buddhism says both! So what should we believe? Is it better to challenge negative beliefs or celebrate them? Is there an outlook that can help make the world a better place, and is that the point? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - Heavenly Hells! (Vimalakirti Sutra ch 8)

“Plant seeds in the sky and they’ll never grow. Plant them in dung and dirt and watch them flourish.” - Manjushri

In the culminating thesis of the sutra, our great bodhisattvic heroes Vimalakirti and Manjushri celebrate the irascible and irreverent with a whole hearted endorsement of the path of the Wrong Way and the heavenly delights of hell while Mahakasyapa laments the great disappointment of his own enlightenment. Is this why we can’t have nice things? Would we actually be content if we did get all those nice things? Does being good ultimately do anyone any good?? Find out here!

Sara Campbell - Instruction Manual for Living (The Wayward Mind)

“You don’t seek the way, the way seeks you!” - Kodo Sawaki

Sara shares with us the enlightening existential crisis of her wayward mind which, according to our forbears, is the essential mind of practice. How did we get here and why do we keep coming back? Why does this path turn out to be for some but not for others?? What’s the difference between going through the motions, and the embodiment of no mind?? Find out here!!

Emily Eslami - Mind Waves, Mind Weeds

“We say, ‘Pulling out the weeds we give nourishment to the plant.’ We pull the weeds and bury them near the plant to give it nourishment. So even though you have some difficulty in your practice, even though you have some waves while you are sitting, those waves themselves will help you. So you should not be bothered by your mind. You should rather be grateful for the weeds, because eventually they will enrich your practice. “ - Shunryu Suzuki

 

A beginner who’s been been beginning for a long time takes a seasoned look the Beginner’s Mind with a series on the book that began it all - Shunryu Suzuki’s "Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind." This week! What is the Big Mind and how hard should we work to to find it? How much effort should we put to into our zazen, and how does effort even work in a goalless practice? How do we get to clarity of mind and what does such a thing even mean?? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - A Quiet Resistance (Political Engagement in Buddhism)

"Whatever the ineffable is, it doesn't seem too concerned with our politics. But then we're also always told that the ineffable is nothing but what happening right now...  So it gets left up to you to figure out what's truly important.

My actual hot take on everyone's politics is, if you've already sat down and shut up for a half hour today, whatever else you want to say is fine. And then I might even want to listen to you." - Dave Cuomo

 
Dave regales us with the story of that time Buddha juggled betrayal, assassination attempts, war, and intrigues of all kinds (nbd) in a look at how Buddhism does (and does not) deal with political engagement. Does ultimate reality care about the mundane affairs of our dusty little world? Do we have an obligation to take a stand on things that matter, or is sitting all that really matters?? Which speaks louder, the bellows of the Buddha or the thunderous roar of stillness?? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - Flowers Abound! (Vimalakirti ch7 - The Goddess)

“The nice thing about a Zen Center is they make it really easy to be a good person. Just follow the script - bowing, sitting, chanting enlightened things, sending all your cosmic merit to all living beings… you’re already being an enlightened buddha just by following the playbook. Everyone seems so nice, wholesome, and down to earth around here. I guess I don't really know what you're like on the outside. Maybe I don't wanna find out. But I like what this place does to us.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave regales us with the famously wise and whimsical Goddess chapter of the Vimalakirti Sutra. A sneaky snarky goddess has been hiding out listening in on our heroes, and now she’s ready to reveal herself and indulge in some no holds barred dharma combat. Can this proto feminist icon show our heroes the way? What do identity politics mean to a being born of no self? Can hatred be a tool of liberation?? Is it always attachment to want nice things? Or is the real attachment to push them away?? Find out here!

Erik Andersen - City of Illusion

“If the pure land isn’t real, maybe we can make this a pure land. Even if it doesn't add up to anything, maybe our own brains can be a Buddha land - a sphere of influence positively affected by an outside Buddha. Maybe the pure land isn’t so far away after all.” - Erik Andersen

“Not knowing is nearest!” Erik takes us on a personal pilgrimage to the pure land as it exists right hear and now, with a survey of the practices, historicity, personal experience, and entangling relationship Pure Land Buddhism has to the Zen we all know and love. Do we need to believe in a practice for it to work? Is it Zen to do practices that make us feel better? Would it matter if it wasn’t?? Is it possible that the “place of precious things” is far closer than we ever could have imagined?? Find out here!

Gyokei Yokoyama - The Great Experiment

“Part of us dies in this process. It’s like a beautiful salad that starts to whither and you feel like something was lost… It’s like finding trust in the most unpromising place with no ground for solid footing. It's allowing the whole situation to penetrate through you and allowing yourselves to penetrate right through the situation…

But I'm still pondering. I don’t hundred percent agree with this dying process I experienced, although it’s always been a part of Soto Shu practice. So it remains not as an answer, but as a question.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei discusses the pickles and salads of practice, the bright vibrant greens and the withered wisdoms that develop over a lifetime of letting go. How do we maintain constancy in our practice and what happens when we do? What is the aspiration that drives us to dive head first into the murky waters of a realized life, sink or swim? What is left of our selves when our self lets go of us?? Find out here!