Barefoot & Drinking (Poetry Corner) w/ Henry Zander

“Westerners like to conquer mountains. Easterners like to contemplate them. As for me, I like to taste them” - Santoka Taneda

Henry brings us a highly entertaining poetry hour as we follow the the lives and words of two Buddhist poets; Miyazawa Kenji trying to help the masses one annoyed farmer at a time, and Santoka Kenji picking himself up from a life of tragedy to drink himself into a sutra steeped stupor. What does it take to live a free life, an honest life, and/or a helpful life? Does the world want to be changed or be accepted as it is? Is just being your self ultimately being selfish? Find out here!

The Lighter Side of Darkness (Story Time) w/ Dave Cuomo

“We are the lonely all together. All together, we’re all alone.” - John Prine

Dave indulges us in a little story time while also indulging in some explananing of how koans work with a classic tale of dharma drama, jealous rivalries, and onomatopoetic poetry. What should we ask in practice discussion when we don’t know what to say? Can we find a safe place for our passions instead of practicing them away? Does every living creature really die alone, and wait… isn’t that something we all share?? Find out here!

The Shadow of Happiness (The 5 Powers) w/ Sara Campbell

“I've seen too much, man. I know what's out there. And it's not all bad. And it's also not all good.” - Sara Campbell

Sara revels in the nightmare of a beautiful spring evening, the fragility of the daffodils, the darkness of the rain, and the five powers that can turn that nightmare into a perfectly present dream. How do we remember to notice the cool breeze of a deep blue twilight when all we feel is dark? Can we include fear and pessimism in our all inclusiveness, or are they the absence of all inclusiveness? And will anyone remember to bring light and laughter to the bodhisattva of light and laughter? Find out here!

You Are the Problem w/ Emily Eslami

“When the problem is a part of you, there is no problem, because you are the problem itself.” - Shunryu Suzuki

Emily brings us a meditation on problems, problem solving, and all the machinations, rationalizations, and somersaults we do to try to prove that our problems are somewhere outside of ourselves, and then what happens when we start to point that finger right back where it came from. When is the problem actually other people? Have we earned that sense of superiority we get from meditating while our partners are sleeping in? Are our thoughts pulling us away from ourselves, and is that even possible?? Find out here!

Lost & Found (Meaning & Purpose) w/ Dave Cuomo

“It’s not an attainment, it’s a lament.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave tries to figure out his purpose and articulate what meaning in Zen is while trying to give a talk in a park with threatening geese and impending rain on a retreat not going entirely to plan. What are the stages of meaning making and how do we rate? Is Dave’s level as off the charts as he claims? And what are the secret criteria for trustworthy lay leaders and Zen teachers?? Find out here!

An Awesome Group of Weirdos (The Fruits of Zazen) w/ Sara Campbell

“The biggest change for me is to stop feeling like I should have it all figured out. And stop believing that anyone else does; and finding it a deep red flag if they claim to.” - Sara Campbell

Sara marks her five year anniversary with ACZC by taking stock and admitting how maybe all this goalless practice has changed her for the better, while the sangha takes the opportunity to get personal and share what’s working, what’s not, and how those kind of assessments may or may not be working out for them. Will we ever be able to untangle the big ball of yarn that is ourselves? Will the sangha exhaust the limits of that metaphor? (absolutely... knot!) Find out here!

Yeah, No (The ❤️ Sutra) w/ Dave Cuomo

“If somebody is an a-hole, they must be going through something tough. And they’re making it as bad or worse for themselves as they are for anyone they're hurting. So they deserve just as much care as anybody else suffering from the what they're dealing out.

That's a hard truth I want to wrestle with. Because I believe it, but I'm not always instinctively there yet.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave takes us on a historical, literary,  and autobiographical tour of the Heart Sutra to see what exactly it has to say that’s so important we’ve been belting it out every morning for a couple thousand years. Is there a practical meaning behind the nonsense of it all? How do we wish love to the dead in a way that enlivens everyone? Are we ultimately existentially alone? Is emptiness a yawning chasm of despair or the gate of liberation standing wide open and just waiting for us to walk through? Find out here!

The Winning Ticket (Spiritual Bypassing) w/ Tanya Orlov

“The winning ticket, the unfortunate truth, is that you have to take a good look at your bullsh*t before you can get to the good stuff.” - Tanya Orlov

Tanya brings us some wise warnings about our purported wisdoms with an in depth look at spiritual bypassing; what it is, how to know when we’re doing it, and how it might be holding us back from the real peace we’re trying to claim. Is our practice making us the cool, calm, collected people we always wished to be, or is that just another delusion we’re clinging to? What kind of grit does it take to get to the good sit? And how do we (or should we...) tell our noisy neighbors they’re being too loud? Find out here!

Mutual Conspiracy (Sonic Meditations) w/ Robert Holliday

“There's no reason sound can't be appreciated wherever you are. It's always there. We think something has to be dramatic or highly structured, but there's always structures to find in our minds. We have that freedom in our own being to be able to see with what's there, with what's here, with what's happening.” - Robert Holliday

Robert explores the intersection of experimental music and zazen from Buddha to John Cage in a fascinating real time experiment in music, mind, and sound. What’s the difference between music and being, composition and compassion? Where is the mind? What is the mind? What masterpieces have been waiting right here and now for us to find? Find out here!

Your Kindness & Your Hatefulness (See y’all soon) w/ Dave Cuomo

“Can we keep the goofy light heartedness of being rebel antagonists, along side the sincerity of really caring? Can we care and be funny at the same time?And you know what I've seen us do? Exactly that. And that delights me. Thank you everybody.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave gives us his See Y’all Soon address before hungry ghosting us for the Spring with a look at some favorite poetry about learning to see the world honestly through the nuances and subtleties, and what it means to be self fulfilled. Are we enough for ourselves? Can we light up the world without ever shining? Are American Buddhists too conflict averse? Or is Zen too amoral and heavily meditated to even concern itself? Find out here!

Rote Reverence (Rituals) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama

“First, there's ‘the thing that I want to do.’ They strip that away completely. Then when we’re hollow and empty they come back and ask, ‘So now, what do you really, really want?’” - Gyokei Yokoyama 

Gyokei pulls back the curtain on the rituals and forms of Zen, the true koan of the Soto School, to find out if there's any meaning in the method or maybe even some practical value to our venerations. Who are we doing these rituals for anyway? Why don’t they want us to be good at our jobs? How do we move like a hummingbird and when should we move like a rhino? Find out here!!

The Why Question w/ Jitsujo Gauthier

“In order to learn something new,  first you have to be confused about it. If you aren't confused about it, you already know what it is and then you're not learning anything.” - Jitsujo Gauthier

Great sangha friend Jitusjo brings us hard won personal tips and tricks for navigating the confusion and fear of the inner world, and the discomfort we might find when we honestly shine the light inward. How can we read a room by listening to ourselves? Are we lonely, or is that just what the loneliness wants us to think? How do we let down our guard and be vulnerable when there are real things out there to guard against?? Find out here!

A Clever Game (What Am I Doing Here??) w/ Pedro Peres

“Whatever goals you accomplish, you're still the same. There's still that same emptiness - there's still something missing. There's always going to be something missing. And that's okay.” - Pedro Peres

Long time sangha friend Pedro Peres regales us with the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here - from early forays into beating koans at their own game, to communities built around the beauty of emptiness, and chasing that certain something missing that just might be the real liberation we were looking for all along. Why do we avoid the cushion when we know damn well how well it works? Are we better off without an answer to life, the universe, and everything? Do we need more zazen or do we need more sleep?? Find out here!!

F#@k Around and Find Out (Prajna (Wisdom)) w/ Dave Cuomo

“Think for yourselves. Be unruly. Challenge what we tell you, Challenge what I think I know about how this place should work. That’s what all the old teachings tell us to do - even if it is kind of inconvenient to have a room full of people thinking for themselves when you’re trying to run a Zen Center.” - Dave Cuomo

In the final installment of his paramita series, Dave unravels the subtle mysteries of prajna, aka perfect wisdom, aka the great unknowable truth that’s supposedly the only truth you need to know. What is the ultimate truth in Zen, can we get access to it, and will it help us if we do?? Find out here!!

The Messy Middle (The Curse of Self Awareness) w/ Heather Ross

“You can't sit motionless for 30 minutes without learning something,  and when that happens day after day, we learn and we learn. Like it or not, we learn.” - Heather Ross

Heather opens up the Pandora’s Box of zazen and takes a hard and healing look at all the hidden aspects of ourselves that inevitably unhide themselves through regular sitting. How do we cope when we see through our own coping mechanisms? What do we do in the messy  middle when we’ve learned to see our mistakes clearly, but before we’ve learned how to not make them? How are we supposed take personal responsibility for the faults of others without making it all about us??

Liberty’s Laments (Year of the Wood Dragon) w/ Dave Cuomo

“There's a freedom, a pit, a dropping off into something you don't know and don't necessarily trust… It takes a strange kind of trust to let go of everything you’ve known as yourself.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave celebrates the year of the wood dragon with evocative writings on dragons frogs, and earthworms singing through the hollow trees of you and me. What can we hold onto when everything falls away? What’s the voice that speaks through you when you run out of things to say? Who’s the little person deep inside stoking the flames of our anxiety, and can we talk them into taking a well earned break? Can we find a word in English that means grief and liberation at the same time?? Let’s find out.

A Subtle Sober Magic (Zazen) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama

“There's some discomfort there, and there's some comfort there. And when you let that go… it's quite a revolution.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei gives us fully fleshed out, bare bones explanations and instructions for zazen -  body, breath, and mind. How does it work? How much should it hurt? Are Westerners doing it right? Is Japan doing it right?? Is Gyokei doing it enough? And did the monastery permanently screw up his zazen?? Find out here!

A Seat at the Table (Meditation) w/ Dave Cuomo

“Probably the best we can train for is to get a seat at the table where our decisions are made; which is not where we're usually hanging out. Usually we’re hanging out after the fact writing propaganda to justify what we just did.” - Dave Cuomo

In the penultimate episode to our paramita series, Dave takes on the big one for Zen - meditation (aka Zen). We all know it’s what we do, but maybe it’s time to peel back the curtain on all Zen’s cagey double speak and reveal the method behind the madness. How did we arrive at the somewhat sly ironic style that we (don’t so much) teach here? What was it traditionally supposed to accomplish, how was it supposed to work, and are we still accomplishing that here? Can we really learn contentment and does that actually lead to wisdom? Will we get the five magical powers and will we want them if we do?? Find out here!

The Problem With Happiness (What Am I Doing Here??) w/ Patrick Carroll

“There ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer” - Gertrude Stein

Patrick brings us the timeless tale of a Catholic kid trading his faith for the freedom of not quite knowing what the h*ll he’s doing. Along the way we get 30 years worth of ironic wisdom bombs, gleaned from a myriad of likable and unlikely teachers met across decades of practice. Can we lose our religion while still keeping the faith? How do we live up to being our own teacher, while not turning Zen into a self stunted choose your own adventure? After all these years of not living up to our name, has our So Cal Zen center finally given us a perfectly poetic surfing/zazen analogy? Find out here!!

Effortless Efforts (Energy & Depression) w/ Dave Cuomo

“It includes everything, no matter what. Even being depressed is part of it. That's why I don’t backslide like I used to anymore; because even if I do, I now know for certain that has weight and that's important too.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave takes an honest look at energy, the much lauded and lamented fourth paramita, along with all the reasons such things might often feel out of reach. Is Buddhism trying to flatten us out or is there room for passion in our practice? How are we expected to lift ourselves up when all we feel is down? Do we need to have purpose to practice, and if so, where in all that goaless emptiness have they been hiding it?? Find out here!!