Liberty’s Laments (Year of the Wood Dragon) w/ Dave Cuomo

“There's a freedom, a pit, a dropping off into something you don't know and don't necessarily trust… It takes a strange kind of trust to let go of everything you’ve known as yourself.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave celebrates the year of the wood dragon with evocative writings on dragons frogs, and earthworms singing through the hollow trees of you and me. What can we hold onto when everything falls away? What’s the voice that speaks through you when you run out of things to say? Who’s the little person deep inside stoking the flames of our anxiety, and can we talk them into taking a well earned break? Can we find a word in English that means grief and liberation at the same time?? Let’s find out.

A Subtle Sober Magic (Zazen) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama

“There's some discomfort there, and there's some comfort there. And when you let that go… it's quite a revolution.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei gives us fully fleshed out, bare bones explanations and instructions for zazen -  body, breath, and mind. How does it work? How much should it hurt? Are Westerners doing it right? Is Japan doing it right?? Is Gyokei doing it enough? And did the monastery permanently screw up his zazen?? Find out here!

A Seat at the Table (Meditation) w/ Dave Cuomo

“Probably the best we can train for is to get a seat at the table where our decisions are made; which is not where we're usually hanging out. Usually we’re hanging out after the fact writing propaganda to justify what we just did.” - Dave Cuomo

In the penultimate episode to our paramita series, Dave takes on the big one for Zen - meditation (aka Zen). We all know it’s what we do, but maybe it’s time to peel back the curtain on all Zen’s cagey double speak and reveal the method behind the madness. How did we arrive at the somewhat sly ironic style that we (don’t so much) teach here? What was it traditionally supposed to accomplish, how was it supposed to work, and are we still accomplishing that here? Can we really learn contentment and does that actually lead to wisdom? Will we get the five magical powers and will we want them if we do?? Find out here!

The Problem With Happiness (What Am I Doing Here??) w/ Patrick Carroll

“There ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer” - Gertrude Stein

Patrick brings us the timeless tale of a Catholic kid trading his faith for the freedom of not quite knowing what the h*ll he’s doing. Along the way we get 30 years worth of ironic wisdom bombs, gleaned from a myriad of likable and unlikely teachers met across decades of practice. Can we lose our religion while still keeping the faith? How do we live up to being our own teacher, while not turning Zen into a self stunted choose your own adventure? After all these years of not living up to our name, has our So Cal Zen center finally given us a perfectly poetic surfing/zazen analogy? Find out here!!

Effortless Efforts (Energy & Depression) w/ Dave Cuomo

“It includes everything, no matter what. Even being depressed is part of it. That's why I don’t backslide like I used to anymore; because even if I do, I now know for certain that has weight and that's important too.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave takes an honest look at energy, the much lauded and lamented fourth paramita, along with all the reasons such things might often feel out of reach. Is Buddhism trying to flatten us out or is there room for passion in our practice? How are we expected to lift ourselves up when all we feel is down? Do we need to have purpose to practice, and if so, where in all that goaless emptiness have they been hiding it?? Find out here!!

Sorrowful Splendor w/ Sara Campbell

“It’s less, yes it must be this way, and more let's go this way together.” - Sara Campbell

Sara reflects on the holidays and turns the page on a new year with a simple but endless question, how do we live when we know we’re going to die? Also, what to do when you suddenly realize you’ve gone from wacky aunt to wacky family matriarch without even having applied for the promotion. Are hidden dark forces out there controlling the world, and if so, what are they to us? Is Buddhism a nihilistic philosophy? Is Sara a closet nihilist?? Find out here!

A Long Loving Look Into the Darkness w/ Dave Cuomo

“All the philosophies I grew up on were always trying to take me toward the light - be a good person, know what's going on, know how to handle things… It was always about happiness and positivity. Thats what led me here. That was the problem.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave rings in the New Year with an unflinching dive into darkness - what it means in Zen, why it’s nothing to be scared of, and why the light isn’t always as illuminating as we’ve been led to believe; including a bonus cameo from everyone’s favorite angry farmer poet, Wendell Berry, plus a fresh original translation of the Zazenshin (the point of zazen). Are we content with half truths or are we ready for the dark ones? Have we been lied to about the Point of Zazen? Can we procrastinate our way into productivity?? Find out here!

Tantrum of the Tathagata (Story Time)

“Maybe we don’t need take everything as gospel, or maybe taking things as gospel doesn’t always mean what we want it to mean” - Dave Cuomo

Dave Cuomo brings us a special podcast exclusive Holiday Story Time, with a dramatic reading of a somewhat bananas Buddhist folktale about a young king and his flying elephant trying to get good at giving. It’s a story for the season about the spirit of generosity and the awkward joys of family. Can we be too supportive of our kids? Is there such a thing as being too generous? Should we trust our parents? And speaking of which, how much should we trust Buddhism?? Find out here!

Embracing the Suck (Space Flowers) w/ Jason Dodge

“A person with cloudy eyes is a person of fundamental enlightenment, a person of subtle enlightenment.” - Dogen

Jason dives into Dogen’s treatise on the flowery delights of delusion - ‘Space Flowers,’ while discussing the inspiration behind his recent benefit print for ACZC. Along the way we get a bonus peek behind the creative curtain and a constellation of poetic ponderings on the nature of what we see and whether or not we can accurately call that reality. Can we stop seeing delusions? Should we? And if not, what should we do with them? And will we ever wise up enough to be satisfied with unsatisfying Zen answers? Find out here!

Dukkha Happens (Patience) w/ Dave Cuomo

“If you’re not at least a little uncomfortable, you probably haven’t found whatever it is you really need to make peace with yet.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave dives back into the paramitas to learn about patience and finds out that Buddha apparently agrees with Sartre, hell is other people. Along the way we get some personal stories about the time Dave funded his monastic career by accidentally beating capitalism at its own game and learned to like other people by losing faith in himself. Should we blame society for the world’s ills, or ourselves? How are we supposed to accept circumstances that are unacceptable? Is the rational math of economics really just an exercise in wishful thinking?? Find out here!

Free and Unavoidable Things w/ Gyokei Yokoyama (Great Compassionate Mind)

“The spring has no particular shape, and yet spring manifests naturally. Or like the moon, it just emerges, versatile and free.
When something happens, nobody can really say who did it. That's why we get frustrated.  Nobody can know how it happened because everybody contributed.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

In our final retreat wrap up, Gyokei gives us an on the spot translation of a Komazawa University hot take on Ungan and Dogo’s famous exchange about how exactly the Great Compassionate Mind might be working, along with juicy stories and hard won wisdoms Gyokei’s picked up along the way. Can we avoid being compassionate even if we wanted to? Are we always doing what we want whether we want to or not? Who do Buddhists pray to, and is it working? And why do some people turn out better or worse than others, and could Soto Shu use a little more education in that department?? Find out here!

Surprised and Delighted (Self Compassion & the 5 Skandas) w/ Sara Campbell

“I was clinging to this idea that everything about me was terrible, and that I could be better, but I had failed.  It was a constant refusal to make peace with what I had to offer.

And that is total bullsh*t. The more you start to learn about what you are, which is absolutely completely interdependent and just a fractal of what everyone else is,  the more it starts to break down.

I can't hate myself. It just doesn't make sense.” - Sara Campbell

Following up on our retreat theme of compassion and the five skandas, Sara gives us a raw and revealing look at self compassion. Plus, she gives us the naked truth of what it was like to be Zen Center caretaker over the summer. What techniques and theories does Zen offer for cultivating self compassion and is there more to zen than zazen? Where does love and appreciation go when it can’t find its way back home? And how do we find time for self care when the problem is we’re stretched too thin in the first place?? Find out here!

A Carnage of Compassion pt 1 (Compassion Monsters & the 5 Skandas) w/ Dave Cuomo

“We don't downplay it. We don't sit here and say, ‘what I'm feeling isn't real and doesn't matter.’ It's this weird technique where it's like, no, no, go all in on it and take it very, very seriously with an enormous grain of salt.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave gives a pep talk for the deep practice of retreat (and in general) while introducing our theme for the season - the Compassion Monster, aka a Carnage of Compassion, aka the truth that everything you do, in all of your inglorious incarnations, has great value for everyone whether you believe it or not. It’s a mashup of pie in the sky mystery along with brass tacks basic technique for how we might start to notice that undeniably. Can we be any better for the world if we tried? Can we grow up AND stay weird? How should we respond to the things that go bump in the night? Find out here!

Aimless Affirmations (Empowerment vs Emptiness) w/ Sara Campbell

“If Zen's teaching me that I have inherent value just for existing, part of that whole deal is that I'm going to be doing mantras or some other wacky sh*t that I come across in six months. And I'm okay with that.” - Sara Campbell

After finding benefits in affirmative mantra practices, Sara looks back on Zen emptiness teachings to find out if there really is a contradiction between self empowerment and the enlightenment of letting go of that self entirely. What’s the difference between dropping off the self and willfully keeping it down? Is aimlessness an aspiration? Are you a bad MF and does god love you?? Find out here!

Where’d the Glow Go? (Morality) w/ Dave Cuomo

“You see the problems with the system, problems with teachers, and problems with yourself and realize, none of us can quite live up to what we're teaching here. But if I want do something actually good in the world, I can't think of anything more beneficial than providing a quiet empty room where everyone can do whatever they need to do to find some peace.“ - Dave Cuomo

Dave looks at morality in part two of his series on the paramitas, and tries to figure out what makes a good person and if that’s actually something worth aspiring to, while indulging in a little salacious storytelling of monks behaving badly along the way. How can we be good if there’s no such thing as good and evil? Is Zen amoral? Can a hypocritical, highly flawed, and all too human tradition somehow still be a font of perfect virtue? Find out here!

Fierce Compassion (The Magic Hour) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama

“Zen isn't there to sugarcoat things and cuddle you. We're not talking about being mean, we're talking about, how do we slap someone's face in the most compassionate way? (…metaphorically of course)” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei talks us through the spirit (and specifics) of… ‘Dhaaarmaaa Commbaaat!’ from the lion’s roar, to the three foot long venomous viper of truth, to how to wield the swift and silent sword of compassion ourselves. Can we learn to intuitively be what the moment needs without having to satisfy our own emotional appetites? Is compassion always kind? Is it ok to feel good when we sit?? And wait, why does Zen always get up so early and is that a hard and fast rule??? Find out here!

The Great G(r)ift (Generosity) w/ Dave Cuomo

“The benefit of you existing is you get to figure out what that means for yourself. And then you can come back and teach the rest of us about that. That is a generosity.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave gifts us with a deep dive into generosity in the first on a new series on the paramitas, aka the six perfections, aka the six things that all good Buddhas have gotten really really good at to get them where they are. What is the spirit of giving in Buddhism? How can we do our part to keep the great river of resources flowing for everyone? And how do we handle greed and jerkiness in others without turning into the sort of person we were all up in arms about in the first place? Find out here!

Clarity, Purpose, and Joy w/ Curtis Fabens

“Joy is not a failing. It’s not irresponsible. It’s not deluded. True joy is the birthright of every being. It's a normal thing.” - Curtis Fabens

Founding ACZC resident Curtis gives us an impassioned exhortation to the recipe for a life well lived - clarity, purpose, & joy. Is clarity really the path of least resistance and if so, why is it so often hard to see? Is it possible to not have purpose? Is there a fool proof trick to always hitting the payout on the slot machine of joy in every moment??

https://www.gofundme.com/f/young-cancer-warrior-loses-dad

Burn it Down (Alignment & Blockages) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama

“You burn the whole forest once. And what comes back is the same forest - the same aspiration, the same desires, the same dreams… But there's this indescribable difference. And that's what makes all the difference.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei discusses alignment, blockages, and the prickliness that comes from trying to put our own ideals on a world that might already have a few ideas of its own. Can we unblock ourselves from the limits of our own best intentions? Can we find a well adjusted place for our rebellious and independent spirits in the greater whole? Is it our job to go out there and spread the dharma or can we really just sit back and let the dharma come to us?? Find out here!!

Ruinous Revelations (Dongshan’s 'It’s Only This') w/ Dave Cuomo

“We don't need you to regurgitate our answers. We need you to go figure out who the hell you are. That's your contribution.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave shares a favorite legend about a cocky young monk crossing a river and a moment of self confidence so powerful we’re still talking about it a thousand years later. In a practice that glorifies not knowing, how do we know when we know something for certain? What is self confidence in a tradition so obsessed with no-self? Can we look up to our teachers without getting let down? Or is the goal of self actualization to not need other people at all? Find out here!

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