Free Fall (Ambitions & Emptiness) w/ Sara Campbell

“I feel very confident… confident that I don't know what the f*** I'm doing.” - Sara Campbell

Sara takes us on a personal tour of ambition and emptiness, with a first hand account of how teachings on groundlessness do and do not prepare us for a world of gig economies, uncertain employments, and potentially dubious digital windfalls. What good is being grounded? What does it mean to be present for reality in an increasingly virtual world? And when we find ourselves in free fall, is it possible to land in the sky? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - A Noisy Hullabaloo (How to Make Peace)

“The hardest thing for me to do is to peacefully watch somebody else screw up their life. But I'm told that's a big part of true compassion - letting go without turning away.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave looks at how to make lasting peace in the world while regaling us with the legend of Dongshan’s ‘Celebration of Silliness’, the week long banquet of delusion Dongshan threw for him and his monks on his death bed. What, if anything, do we owe our friends and families on our way out the great gaping door? Can evil really be destroyed or is it something we’re stuck with? And why are the enlightened out there insisting that they need all of us deluded folks to take care of them? Isn’t that supposed to be their job?? Find out here!

Henry Zander - A Real Heart Warmer (What Am I Doing Here??)

“Wind is liberated from the mountain, I is liberated from nothing at all… I’m here because I need y'all, because practice doesn't make sense without you.” - Henry Zander

Henry takes us to the Christian plains of the midwest to regale us with a personal practice story of finding yourself somewhat alone in your own weird wildness only to find the odd ways that singular experience can hone and flourish when shared with a community. How is poetry both a boon and a hindrance to practice? What do we gain and lose when we sit together versus sitting alone? How is it that a practice that preaches ultimate oneness can often leave us isolated and alone?

Dave Cuomo - Just Be Normal (History of Zen - Dahui vs Hongzhi)

“They say you can’t intellectualize Zen, but don't short change yourself. If your brain wants to understand it, do that first. The old masters all did. They knew exactly what they were talking about.

And then one day you might realize that even the highest level teachings aren’t enough. But you have to get them before you can realize that they’re not enough.“ - Dave Cuomo

History of Zen returns with a tale of dharma combat that's going to have eon long implications. Two epic frenemies are busy inventing modern koan and shikantaza practice while China is busy putting itself back together, only to promptly fall apart again. What are the roots of modern koan practice, and is ACZC doing them wrong? Why does Zen have a “right” answer for everything, and how did their philosophies get so tight? Was Zen designed to be secular or religious, and does it believe its own PR? Find out here!

Sara Campbell - Midnight at Dawn

“If you don't understand the way right before you, how will you know the path as you walk?” - Shitou Xiqian

Sara reflects on some challenging lines from Shitou to work through medical troubles in her family, while Shunryu Suzuki and Huangbo shed some light on the dawns and midnights of life that always seem to go hand in hand. How does practice help in the times we’re most reticent to sit down to it? Does insight best arrive in a flash or a slow dawning drip of emotion? Can 1000 year old poetry offer any cool comforts in times of crisis? Find out here.

Dave Cuomo - How to Stop Time

“’Don’t trust anyone…’ When you have this limited idea of trust, you put someone in a box. ‘Not trusting anybody’ means allowing them, moment to moment, to be different.” - Natalie Goldberg

Dave gets grumpy about getting to live his dream life, plus a reading from Dainin Katagiri’s “You Have To Say Something” along with a deep dive into all the valid reasons not to trust ourselves, our teachers, or the systems we work in. Is formal Zen training just one more toy to let go of, or is it the place we go to let go of our idealistic toys? Can we learn from systems and selves we don’t entirely trust? And when the moment arrives, should we stand strong and stare the great moose of truth in the face, or is the real wisdom to bravely run away?? Find out here!

Gyokei Yokoyama - Original Flavor

“How do you become a flavor that gives life to other flavors? How do you become a person that gives life to other practitioners instead of taking away their life?” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Bitter, salty, spicy, sour, or sweet - Gyokei gives us a subtle and patient recipe for finding our own true original flavor that brings out the best in all the rest. What melodies are waiting to sing to us in uncomfortable silences? Can we learn to trust the mind that lies behind our own self esteem? And is it ever really possible to taste what truly makes us special?? Find out here.

Emily Eslami - Nothing Special

“What would be so bad if I wasn’t the best?” - Emily Eslami

Emily regales us with the story of a young girl growing up wanting to think she was something special, only to find herself one of eight billion people thinking much the same thing. Reading from Shunryu Suzuki’s classic Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, this is the real life story of realizing all the anxiety and effort it takes to keep an ego afloat, and then learning to wield a wonderful power that is nothing special at all. Why is it often so frustrating to watch our friends succeed? If Buddha said we were so perfect just the way we are, why does Zen always seem to be telling us we’re doing it wrong? And if we’re not out there trying to be the best, will we still be any good?? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - Babbling Buddhas (Mountains and Waters Sutra pt 1)

“If all of you have access to the same wisdom, and you all hear it in your own distinct ways, that also kind of implies that no one's ever gonna hear it like you. Whenever you feel that beautiful swell of connection, that’s for you alone. You don't get to share that. I don't know. It both like swells and breaks my heart at the same time.” - Dave Cuomo

Mountains walk and rivers talk as Dave delves into Dogen’s classic Mountains and Waters Sutra with the help of Shohaku Okumura’s classic commentary on this poetic and profound piece. How is Mahayana Buddhism so unapologetically based on a lie? (#fakebuddhaquotes amiright?). How do we do not understanding? Is turning off your phone during zazen and turning your back on your loved ones a heartless way of turning toward the truth? And why is Zen’s advice about dealing with anger making Dave so angry?? Find out here!

Jason Dodge - Mad Happy Buddha

“The assumption that things suck is totally safe. You can always prove it. But you miss at least half the world that way.” - Jason Dodge

Who’s afraid of the dark?? Just about all of us if we’re being honest. Luckily Jason’s here to shed some light on how to delight ourselves in the dharma of darkness, and why seeing the world in terms of good and bad is not ultimately a good thing. How can we take comfort in calamity? Why do Zen masters want to scold us for being good students? And is it possible to be an Angry Buddha without causing (too much) trouble?? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - “Dark Feet, Dark Wings”

“To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,/and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,/and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.” Wendell Berry

Dave rings in the New Year with a rousingly rambling speech about presence and why yours matters so much while trying to inspire us all with a faith built on a shining bright lie. Why does recognizing the illusion of time make its passing all the sweeter? Is it possible to meditate our worries away, and why is it sometimes more enlightening not to? What happens when you cross no holds barred start up culture with a thousand year old dumpling stand? Find out here!!

Robert Holliday - The Sounds of Silliness (What Am I Doing Here??)

“Take a walk at night. Walk so silently that the bottoms of your feet become ears.” - Pauline Oliveras

Long time sangha friend Robert brings us the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here with a fascinating discussion of sound and body, sonic meditations, and a personal look at how going deep on deep listening might help keep us on (or off) the path. What symphonies do we hear when the music stops? Why is ritual so satisfying even for non believers? And why do we find ourselves laughing when life most makes us want to cry?? Find out here!

Erik Andersen - Like A Rhinoceros

“Wander alone. Like a rhinoceros.” - Buddha

Erik brings us a special holiday talk dedicated to all the loners out there and everyone else who could benefit from getting in touch with their inner existential rhino - including a dramatic reading of the rhinoceros sutra itself. Why does Buddha want us to be so lonely? Can we every truly be alone? Can we ever not be?? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - Beyond You (Vimalakirti Sutra - The Thrilling Conclusion)

“For me, the best Zen Master is a dead Zen Master.

It’s really healthy for us to venerate and revere these figures. It just doesn’t seem all that healthy for a human to actually sit in that role.” - Dave Cuomo

Join us for a madcap romp to the thrilling conclusion of The Vimalakirti Sutra - Buddha and Vimalakirti square off for an epic confrontation Beyond Comprehension, Vimalakirti holds a universe in his hands like a bouquet of flowers for his loved ones (us!), Shariputra finally gets some answers, Buddha regales us with stories of when he was a young upstart Bodhisattva just as confused as the rest of us, and even the God Indra makes a cameo to endorse the whole affair. What actually is a Buddha after all? Why doesn’t the sutra want us to believe it’s own bulls**t?? What are our practice, dreams, ambitions, and lives about if in the end they’re not about us at all??? Find out here!

Gyokei Yokoyama - Good Ripples

“Be who you are, enjoy your practice just the way you do. Whether you are aware or not, it has a tremendous impact. Those are good ripples for all of us.” Gyokei Yokoyama

Soto Zen in North America turned 100 years old a couple weeks ago with a big Jukai celebration and Gyokei brings us the scene report from the wide world of Zen while reflecting back on a century of continuous practice here. Is American Zen all grown up and ready to move out of the parents house? Which lineage has the best jokes and makes the best drinking buddies? And what exactly do you have to do to get kicked out of Soto Zen?? Find out here!

Sara Campbell - Nowhere to Hide

“If you want to get it, you have to become it. But you already are it, so why worry about it?” - Yunju Daoying

On the first of our talks recorded live from the Fall Retreat, Sara takes us on a personal walking tour of personal ambition. How do we balance the desire to make something of ourselves while still staying true to the spirit of Zen? Along the way we get some Alan Watts hot takes, and a deep dive into Dogen’s “It” (Inmo). What is it? How do we fit into it? And how exactly do we get up off the ground by using the sky, Dogen?? Find out here!!

Dave Cuomo - One Bright Mistake

“What's your intention? What's your aspiration? What are you doing it for? Maybe it’s a delusional question to a goalless practice, but they're going to ask it. Just because it's a silly question doesn't mean you get out of answering it.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave unpacks everyone’s favorite Zen quote of ultimate exoneration, Dogen’s “One Continuous Mistake,” and unveils the brand new ACZC logo about said Great Mistake. Along the way Dave opens up about his curiosities and concerns about his upcoming training in Japan, and how his military upbringing both did and did not prepare him for this life of tough love compassion. Is no one really judging our practice? Is Zen really encouraging us to always get it wrong? What is the one fool proof way to mastering perfect bread baking??? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - “Slumming It” (Vimalakirti Sutra ch 10 & 11)

“When I read the old literature, the Zen Masters are never my role models. I identify with the idiot monks who don’t get it. Like, how do I humble myself to what I don’t understand? How do I respond to what I’ll never feel capable of? That helps me relax. It might even help me be more virtuous.” - Dave Cuomo

Vimalakirti opens up a portal to a sweet smelling alien pure land to order some lunch, while those blissed out beings get curious about what it’s like to have problems and pop over to our little Saha World to see what life is like on the wrong side of the karmic tracks. Will they be able to appreciate the gritty realism of our little corner of paradise? Why is our Buddha so hard on us with all of his tough love truths when other Buddhas teach just by smelling good? Is our messy world a practice opportunity or a perfection we’re just too ignorant to see? Will Shariputra and the gang remember to get the recipe for the best rice in the galaxy? Find out here!!

Gyokei Yokoyama - “Leave No Trace”

“You can be afraid of ghosts and other evils, but you cannot label them your enemies. You help others like you scratch your back. There's no distinction.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Altruism, we all know it’s good, but why does it often feel so oppressive? Or, is it even possible to not live a life of service if we’re being really honest about what we’re doing here?? Digging into the classic Shushogi (a refreshingly intelligible extract from Dogen’s Shobogenzo) Gyokei digs us up some answers from the rural farm villages of his youth, to the ghosts, zombies, and other evils of today that just might be the perfect gateways to our own liberation.

Heather Ross - Something Special (What Am I Doing Here??)

“I’ve had the experience of sitting zazen and just watching the dust bunnies blow around and thinking ‘this is great…’

It feels ordinary, and exciting, because only good can can come out of that sense of boring - showing up and hanging out without a lot of expectations.” - Heather Ross

In our ongoing series where brave sangha members bring us the story of what they’re doing and why they’re  here, Heather takes the hot seat to tell us all about ambition and being special, wanting to be special, the beauty of boredom, and the quest for the coolest Zen center that led (for better or for worse) to us, the most avowedly disappointing place in LA. What makes some people stick around for a practice predicated on disappointment, when the normal reaction would be to go find the fun? Is the pursuit of special the dominant religion in our culture? What exactly is the beauty of boredom?? Find out here!