"To that voice who's saying, ‘Are we good enough?’ This is saying we exist. And that's enough" - Emily Eslami
Emily shares with us Dogen's bright and clear treatise on fundamental self worth, "Brightness." What does Zen mean with woo woo sounding words like 'Buddha's light?' and how is that supposed to apply to us? And where does the light go when everything looks dark?? Find out here!
“The most important thing you can be doing is just to be doing it, and that's doing it right. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be there.” - Sara Campbell
Sara shares her experiences with Master Clown (yes, that’s a thing!) Moshe Cohen’s “Levity of Pause” workshop, all about the intersection of Zen and clown. Join us as she helps us bring a little humor to our stodgy old zazen and, if we're lucky, maybe poke a few holes in the ridiculousness of the absurd certainties we call life.
“Slowly, over time, you might get used to not feeling crappy about yourself. You might get used to not hating everyone you disagree with. And then when some of that old negativity does come back up it can seem like a big problem. But that’s a good sign. Don’t turn back when you notice how crappy of a person you can be. When the afflictions become a noticeable anomaly, that’s great because it just means you’ve established a new normal.” - Dave Cuomo
In an in depth and personal look at one of Yoagacara’s infamously nerdy lists, Dave brings us a talk of sweet cringey goodness and all the things we love to hate, aka The Beneficial Factors. How do we convince a cynical mind to open up and see the light (patiently…)? And what is happiness really (pure empty space!)? Find out here!
“You are what's happening, what's happening is you. What else could you be? Even when what's happening is that you're doubting what's happening, that's still what's happening.” - Dave Cuomo
In a totally timely New Year’s talk, Dave brings us a dramatic reading of “The Time Being,” Dogen’s classic treatise on time and reality and where exactly we fit into all that. What is time (us!)? What does it mean (everything!)?? And what are we supposed to do with it in practice (keep doing that!)??? Also, bonus! Special sangha announcements about the center and sangha toward the end of the talk.
"What are we liberating ourselves from? It's about being able to do the things that you want to do and not getting hung up about smaller things
This is emotional liberation, emotional freedom. People get discouraged in Zen for not getting things or not understanding it. A lot of people think that they just don't get it and move on to other things.
You have to be okay with sometimes not getting it. That’s a good thing here." - Erik Andersen
In an embodiment of true Zen wisdom, Erik regales us with a koan that he can’t answer, and answers it with a talk on how to answer the unanswerable. Is the world a place of good or a place of evil? Does the joy outweigh the suffering? Is there an answer to such a question, and how are we supposed to respond if there isn’t? Find out here!
“Every religion at some point asks the question, ‘Why do bad things happen to good people?’ And there is rarely a satisfying answer. But this sutra is going to try to answer that by showing us how to accept the full crappiness of the world, while also knowing it as a jewel encrusted paradise at the same time.” - Dave Cuomo
Dave dives into some sangha story time with The Vimalakirti Sutra in part 1 of a new chapter by chapter series on this most entertaining of Sutras. In pt 1 we take a hard honest look at two questions; how did Buddha turn the world into an enlightened paradise, and how can Buddha call this messed up world an enlightened paradise? What do we do with toxic relationships and why do we find them so entertaining? Are we ultimately at fault for all the crap in the world? And who do we ultimately get to blame for everything? Find out here!
"Last night, this mountain monk unintentionally stepped on a dried turd and it jumped up and covered heaven and earth. This mountain monk unintentionally stepped on it again, and it introduced itself, saying, “My name is Sakyamuni.” Then, this mountain monk unintentionally stepped on his chest, and immediately he went and sat on the vajra seat, saw the morning star, bit through the traps and snares of conditioned birth, and cast away his old nest from the past." Eihei Dogen
In a special Rohatsu evening talk, Dave celebrates with a little story time, bringing us accounts of Buddha’s enlightenment from the mystical, to the stary eyed, to the time Dogen stepped on a turd named Sakyamuni Buddha and all was revealed. Why does Buddha think his enlightenment included us, and why should his nice little moment still matter to us now? Find out here!
“To live in the realm of Buddha nature means to die as a small being, moment after moment. When we lose our balance we die, but at the same time we also develop ourselves, we grow. Whatever we see is changing, losing its balance. The reason everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance, but its background is always in perfect harmony.” - Shunryu Suzuki
Kill your idols! Kill the Buddha. In a timely and highly inspiring talk, Emily takes on the case of the late great master Linji’s advice to “Kill the Buddha, kill the patriarchs, kill your parents and attain liberation!” It’s the great Zen-Punk exhortation to let go of everything you know about what we’re doing and who we’re doing it for. Who can we have faith in when there is no self and no one outside the self? Who are we ultimately doing any of this for?? Find out here!
“This is the answer key to zazen, the answer key to Buddhism. It’s actually the answer key to enlightenment too. It might not seem like it, it might seem pretty boring. But, when they don't tell you the answers in Zen, this is what they’re not saying.“ - Dave Cuomo
Dave walks us through Yogacara’s “Five Omnipresent Factors” - the theoretical underpinning to all of Zen’s deceptively simple instructions for “just sitting,” and just maybe, to reality itself. When we stop worrying about our thoughts and “just pay attention,” what do we end up seeing with all that attention? How do our selves and reality construct themselves at every given moment? Also, bonus round! Should we let our mosquito friends bite us in zazen? And can we do Zen for simple self improvement without accidentally stripping away the illusion of reality as we know it? Find out here!
"I love the idea of worlds creating and worlds destroying. Each moment being new makes the good times sweeter. And being aware of how much you love something when it's happening makes harder times bearable. It's that awareness that everything is being made up and torn down constantly." - Sara Campbell
Live from Mt Baldy, Sara brings us a personal exploration of this year's retreat theme, "World's Created, World's Destroyed," including everyone's favorite koan on the end of the world and what to do about it, plus a lovely reading from Charlotte Joko Beck on the great coal furnace of zazen.
"When I stopped being scared of other people, a funny thing happened. I realized I like people.
You were like these static things that knew right from wrong and could judge me, and then one day you stopped being that. I realized that you don't know who you are or what you’re supposed to be doing either, and that meant I don't have to know what I am or what I’m supposed to be doing. And now we can all just hang out. It's a way different relationship, a funny relationship, and I like it a whole lot better." - Dave Cuomo
Recorded live from Mt Baldy, Dave Cuomo reads Dogen’s “Space!” and talks emptiness, anxiety, and boundless love, while the sangha debates the best and worst poems to bum out a wedding.
“The freedom we talk about is that wherever we are, we are in some kind of structure. Some are more restrictive, some are more free...
What I picked up through this monastic life was the freedom from your own preconceptions and notions - the end of enslavement by our own mind, to be free wherever you are.” - Gyokei Yokoyama
Join us as special guest Gyokei Yokoyama of Sozenji temple brings us a highly personal and insightful window into growing up in traditional Japanese Zen Buddhism and monastic training in the rough and tumble world of Eheiji Temple (yes, that Eiheiji!). What do Japanese Zennies really think of us hair brained Westerners taking up the practice? And what is gained and lost in the sometimes harsh realities of institutional Zen? And do we need such harsh lessons to get the fundamental point? (And what is the fundamental point???) Find out here!
"If I say my boss over there is underpaying me because they're a jerk and that's not my fault, then I'm not really being with that situation. If I see myself as much a part of this situation as they are, then that's where actual joy happens. That's what I would call love.
I can love my crappy bosses for the fact that we shared the same circumstances that conditioned me to resent them, and them to find it pleasing to underpay me, and that it's not either of our fault that eons ago the earth came together in a big shattering of star bursts, and now here we are fighting over resources because we're both made of DNA, and how can I blame us for being born on a planet like that?
So all we're really saying here is, yup, I live here too, and I love you, because we're in this together." - Dave Cuomo
Dave takes a good hard look at a classic tough love treatise by our great grumpy founder of Zen himself, Bodhidharma. Does "suffering injustice" really mean we're supposed to take crap and like it? Can "seeking nothing" actually help us find joy?? Find out here!
“It's not about the chanting. It's not about what we're saying. It's about the community. It's about listening to each other.” - Leslie Mundy
In a very sweet and insightful story hour, our own Leslie Mundy takes the hot seat to regale us with the tale of what she’s doing and why she’s here. From mind altering days in the ‘60s, to the wild world of koan interviews, to our own ACZC Zoomdo, Leslie spins us stories within stories of learning how to sit still in a world that never seems able to for all that long.
“We didn’t evolve to see reality, we evolved to survive. If we had evolved to see reality we would probably just appear as timeless bits of quantum foam. But that wouldn’t be very helpful for trying to feed yourself or make babies…" - Dave Cuomo
In the latest installment of his Yogacara series, Dave takes on the double headed monster, the double edged sword, of Manas - the self consciousness. According to DT Suzuki, It’s the thing that keeps us captive, and the only thing that can set us free. Buddhism says we have no self. Our senses tell us otherwise. Why? What is that self, how did it get there, and do we need it? What’s the difference between healthy self conception and the hindrance of self conceit? And can we ever get to know the sweet taste of fresh air if we’re stuck driving around seeing the world through the gauges of a submarine? Find out here!
“It’s been hard to accept that my life didn't go exactly how I thought it should. That is a humbling thing to experience. And to know that your time is finite…
I still grieve some of the things that I don't have, but I'm way more able to see beyond them as a result of this practice. And I can be grateful for it. And I can see that my weirdo life has value. But I'm not really the judge of that. That's not up to me. That's bigger than me.” - Sara Campbell
Sara takes us on an intimate personal journey through Genjo Koan, Dogen’s classic poetic piece about a small nonexistent self trying to make its way in a wide world that turns out to be bigger than it could hope to understand. Who are we if we don’t make the conventional life milestones we’d sought to define ourselves by? And how do we let go enough to dive fully into a life that might not be going the way we’d planned? Find out here!
“People of scant knowledge do not think that buddhas have dignified behavior in the toilet... This is not learning of the Buddha’s truth. Remember, purity and impurity is exemplified by blood dripping from a human being. At one time it is warm, at another time it is disgusting. The buddhas have toilets, and this we should remember.” - Dogen
In an ever topical and timely discussion, Emily reads us Dogen’s (in)famous chapters on the perfect practice of washing and going to the bathroom in a talk on purity and impurity, the clean and the unclean, and the bright bathroom mirror that reflects what we truly are as we wash, brush our teeth, and yes, poop the great poop of enlightenment. Do enlightened beings fart like the rest of us? (You betcha!) How exactly does one bathe in enlightenment? (With ease!) And did Yunmen really say that Buddha was a dried s**t stick? (Again, you betcha). Find out here!
“Not knowing what the crap we’re doing is the delight of being human.” - Dave Cuomo
Dave brings us a Zen pep talk for hard times with a reading of Dogen’s Ryugen or, The Moaning of Dragons Through Withered Trees, one of Zen’s most poetic and enthusiastic exhortations for giving up and giving in to a universe that just wants to sing it’s song through you. What is there to rely on in a world of emptiness (everything!) And can we still have faith in ourselves in a practice of non self (what’s stopping you)? Find out here!
"If anyone says that I was ever enlightened, they're lying. If anyone says that I teach anyone, they're lying." - Gautama Buddha
Dave does his best to shed a little clarity on the classically confusing situation of working with teachers in Zen. What is there to teach when Buddha himself swore there is no dharma and no beings to teach? And given that, how should we Zen students work with our teachers?? And why does Zen suspiciously seem to maintain a rigid hierarchy and organization while telling us constantly that no such thing is necessary and no one should trust it?? Dave brings us answers straight from the mouths of the old masters themselves. But who did they think they were talking to and if we believe them, why would we listen to them?? Find out here.
“I read ‘Hardcore Zen’ and it said, ‘Don't listen to me, you have to try this out for yourself.’ And I was in the Navy, so I was really sick of people telling me what to do. And I was really not interested in God telling me what to do. So that really hit the sweet spot.” - Corey Warner
Sangha favorite Corey Warner tells us the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here. From cavorting with demons in Kansas to trying to find a quiet place to sit zazen on a submarine, Corey treats us to a relatably winding tale of trying to find a quiet port to set your zafu.
