Emily Eslami - The Great Mistake

“A Zen master’s life is one continuous mistake.” Dogen Zenji (sort of)

“If life is one continuous mistake, and if we all make mistakes, then what the hell is a mistake??” - Emily Eslami

Emily takes our mistakes head on with an in depth look at the concept of mistake itself, starting with Dogen's famous quote. It's pithy, it's perfectly Zen ironic, and it opens up a whole can of worms of conundrums. What exactly is the Zen master's mistake, and come to think of it, what is a mistake at all? The Zen vows tell us not to discuss past mistakes, and yet here we are engaged in what most consider a serious practice of self improvement. How do improve on what's already perfect, and how do we forgive ourselves if we can't admit our mistakes?? (Spoiler alert, turns out forgiveness doesn't make a whole lot of sense). Is it a mistake to see our lives in terms of mistakes, and wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense! Emily explores all of this in personal terms and with deep dives into Zen lore as she traces Dogen's quote to its roots. The sangha takes to the topic immediately and applies Emily's talk in real time while they see if they can wrestle with their own mistakes without making any more while they do.

Dave Cuomo - Give Up, Give In

“What’s happening in this moment has very little to do with what I want or can accomplish. It’s so far beyond what I’m capable of knowing! But If you can’t know it, if you can’t think it, if you can’t be it, you can be it… Your ignorance itself is the answer.” - Dave Cuomo

Recorded live in Nashville, TN! Asked to introduce Zen and share his own personal journey Dave goes bare bones honest with a talk about giving up and giving in to disillusionment and the liberation that comes when the bottom drops out on life and reality turns out to be nothing like what you asked for. Dave drops some history with Zen's beginnings amid the chaos of 9th century China and the worst disaster in human history and how Zen gave the only honest answer to that moment with its great promise of nothing. He goes on to tells his own story of giving up at the bottom of the barrel and the happy hopelessness you find when you finally admit to what you don't know. Along the way the sangha discusses how to help people in a world where no one wants your help, how to be angry without getting angry, and why you would never recommend Zen to a friend you want to keep.

Emily Eslami - It's a Miracle!

"'Here' is beyond the brain, beyond the nostrils, and beyond this district. Because it springs free from 'here' it has already arrived here and has never been here before. This place is is the place where the ineffable exists. In short the life of a Buddhist master is just drinking tea and eating meals." - Dogen

"If everything's a miracle then nothing's a miracle. But if nothing's a miracle than everything's a miracle because everything takes on this special quality." - Emily Eslami

In a wide ranging and super mundane talk Emily Eslami dives us into Dogen's Kajo - Everyday Life, where Dogen takes us there and back again to the limits of the ultimate miracles of life as found in a cup of tea. Practice is just when we're hungry we eat, when we're tired we sleep (or have some more tea...), it sounds so simple! And it is, but it's that deceptive simplicity, as we're told this simple life is a forge that spans the whole universe. Forging what you ask? Why, perfect Buddha's of course! It's a perfect Zen talk filled with all of the poetry and contradictions that are really the only way to express and encourage this sort of practice. The sangha jumps in and discusses miracles and deities in Buddhism and how to avoid that pesky trap of nihilism that loves to rear its pesky little head in discussions like this.

Emma Roy - Self Caught Jail

"When you are a beginner, of ten or twenty years, you question, 'Am I doing alright?'" - Kobun Chino

Emma Roy brings us a piece by Kobun Chino about Dogen's Advice for Sitting. Our sangha has a bit of a Zen crush on Kobun lately and in this one we can see exactly why. It's a simple piece, mostly just about zazen. But as we've seen, Kobun has a way of being deceptively simple. Embedded in simple advice and encouragement is a wealth of insight, ironies, and koan like contradictions, with mic drop poetic moments that left us alternately dumbfounded or erupting in laughter, all managing to sound warm and comforting in his hands. From there the sangha picks it up and goes personal with their own reflections on practice, opening up a free form and wide ranging discussion that becomes a verbal zazen of its own.

Dave Cuomo - Who You Calling Perfect?? (History of Zen - Buddha Nature)

“The conscious mind is where all the problems start, so we’re not really concerned with what the conscious mind understands. The point is not to teach people to be happier or more awakened or enlightened. We’re here to actively perform whatever those things actually are.” - Dave Cuomo

We finally bring our story in India to a close with one of the more perplexing and intriguing ideas to come out of early Buddhism - Buddha Nature. Somewhere in between grand God like notions and a humble healthy sense of self worth, Buddhism slipped in the idea that everything and all of us are ultimately and fundamentally perfect just as we are. It's a nice idea, probably definitely true from a certain point of view. But it brings with it a whole host of conundrums and contradictions, including most people's first reaction "what do you mean we're all perfect?? I'm pretty sure I can point out at least ten things wrong right now..." This is an ancient objection and Dave traces the problem from its simple roots in Buddha's encouragements to his monks through its more mystical later interpretations up to what it means today to look around and accept ourselves and the world just as we are. Some call that love, some call it God, we usually just call it zazen or not much at all.

Emma Roy - A Thicker Brain?

"Mental wellness depends on more than what’s in our heads. Our minds are intrinsically tied up with our bodies and the context in which we are embedded. We hope for a science of meditation that makes us more not less mindful of how our brains fit into this bigger picture."

Emma Roy returns with more cold hard science on the professed benefits of meditation and then drops the ever pertinent question, "yes, but is this the point?" With some of the science pointing out that many people develop only the positive or negative results they are told they will achieve, we are left with the question, "what actually is the benefit we're after?" If we say it's nothing, is that all we'll get? But if we say it's something, are we just making placebos? Join us for a deep dive into the true meaning of benefit and what sort of benefits we might find when we sit past the point of looking for the point.

Dave Cuomo - The Precepts: 16 Ways to Stop Being Rational

“The irony of sitting with what a horrible person you can be, is how much better a person that can help you become.” - Dave Cuomo

Somewhere in between a rule and a riddle lies the Zen vows. Dave traces their origin from poor Buddha who was just trying to keep the peace with his unruly monks by giving them a few rules (ok, more like a few hundred…), up to the modern Zen version that starts each vow with the caveat that nothing about the self or the universe is comprehensible, and by the way these rules are impossible, so let's promise to uphold them and pay very close attention to what happens. Dave gives a thorough reading of various translations and understandings of each precept, and then reads from Kobun Chino's talks on the subject, where he makes the case that rather than be seen as rules, they are a constant opportunity to work out the relationship between your self and the universe. Naturally, Dave also breaks his precepts in the talk itself by freely discussing his own past mistakes, and the sangha talks about why it can be so liberating to get things wrong and let people down. 

Erik Andersen - Instant Zen

“Blaming is attributing the cause of something to one individual when the truth is that we’re all just one big mess of causation. Is it really that person’s fault or is it their parents’ fault? Is it their grandparents’ fault, is it the universe’s fault? Really it’s your fault for even having the concept of a fault.” - Erik Andersen

Following up on our history of the debate between gradual and sudden enlightenment, Erik follows our sudden victors forward in time to see what this sudden enlightenment really means for us in practice. With readings from Foyan's 'Instant Zen,' and Erik's favorite Buddhist story of Bahia of the Bark Cloth where Buddha finally takes the time to show a man that he is already instantly enlightened just moments before he gets killed by a cow (so... a happy ending?). But what does it mean to be suddenly enlightened? It means you are perfect and everything is fine. Or as Yunmen put it:

“Why do you wander around looking for answers? What do you think you’re missing? You’re fine. If you can’t take responsibility for yourself, whatever else you’re taught will be a lie. If you see some old teacher about to open their mouth, you should tell them to shut up. But instead you act like flies on manure struggling for a bite of shit.”

We swear, as always, it's just a Zen way of saying "I love you."

Dave Cuomo - Shantideva in the Streets, Nagarjuna in the Sheets (History of Zen)

“When you’re wondering ‘what am I supposed to be doing?’ or ‘what should I do with this feeling ?’ or ‘am I doing this right?’ remember that these are ancient questions that were never solidly answered. So when I’m sitting and wondering ‘am I doing this right?’, I realize I must be, because thats what they’ve been doing for thousands of years, and at least I’m on the right question.” - Dave Cuomo

It’s the Great Debate Between Sudden and Gradual Enlightenment! It's the never ending questions of "What should I do with this [problematic event/thought/feeling ]? Do we make it better, or do we let it go? Not just idol musings, these were full on national debates held across Asia 1300 years ago with lives, careers, and scriptures on the line. We catch up with Nagarjuna, whose perfectly clear and pure teachings don't seem capable of staying true the moment he's died. We meet Shantideva who was mostly famous for "eating, shitting, and sleeping," until one day he decides to fly up into the air and deliver a perfect poem outlining the path to full Bodhisattvahood (that he also thoroughly disproves before his butt touches back down to Earth). And alas, poor Mohoyen who tied himself in knots trying to argue for the inexpressable only too find all his words burned in the end and an emperor not so politely telling him it's time to flee. It's the great question of the gradual vs the sudden path - am I already fundamentally perfect, or could I use a little work? (spoiler alert: yes)

Emma Roy - When Good Zazen Goes Bad

“What are we after that’s different than other types of inquiry? It’s an open question, but I know that these negative experiences are a hundred percent part of it” - Emma Roy

There’s a lot of talk about how great zazen is, but is it always good for you? It's been mentioned here and there that at some point anyone who engages in this practice can expect it to get, let's just say... difficult - that somewhere beyond the sunshine, roses, or boredom can be darker experiences some schools ominously call the “dark night of the soul.” But what are these experiences actually, why do they happen, and are they a blessing in disguise? Or does this mean meditation is harmful and should be avoided at all cost?? Luckily we have Emma to bring us science on the matter, cold hard data, studies, and first hand reports of those who've gone through it. The sangha is on hand to tell their own stories of madness, darkness,  disillusionment, and probe that darkness to see if there's light on the other side. Not a talk to be missed!

Jared Wynn - War & Peace

“it’s always first and foremost internal.” - Nina Snow

In a wide ranging discussion Jared shares his own missteps and anecdotes while looking for guidance everywhere from the Pali Canon to see how Buddha dealt with his conflicts (dark twist spoiler - he kills someone!), to our old friend Sunryu Suzuki and his recommendations toward skillful means, to Musashi - Japan's greatest sword fighter and warrior poet, who has a list of recommendations that the sangha decides are... let's just say challenging.

Dave Cuomo - Seeing the World From a Casket

“To let go while digging is is the trick.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave leads the sangha in a special memorial day discussion on Kodo Sawaki’s “Seeing the World from a Casket.” It’s an exploration of who we are when our defining struggles are no longer struggles and the clarity of viewing life from the other side.

Emily Eslami - How to Ride an Ox

“When you realize the meaning of life of shitting and eating, you will realize the deep meaning of raising an ox.” - Dogen

Emily Eslami on Kakuan Shien's Ten Bulls, or the Ox Herding pictures you may have heard them called. It's a path of no path, the great Zen rodeo, the straight road to enlightenment that turns out to be a spiral, or a circle, or a flat infinite plain? It's hard to say, but Emily leads the group in a great talk on a beautiful illustration of practice. The Ten Bulls are borrowed from our Rinzai siblings, which means there's a refreshing focus on practice with some hint of a progression, deepening, and maturing as we go on. But Emily warns us not to be fooled because that progress and maturing is as like to be happening now in the space of a moment as it is over the course of a lifetime. It's story of learning to ride the great ox, finding your way home, and finding out everywhere you go is home.