Surprised and Delighted (Self Compassion & the 5 Skandas) w/ Sara Campbell

“I was clinging to this idea that everything about me was terrible, and that I could be better, but I had failed.  It was a constant refusal to make peace with what I had to offer.

And that is total bullsh*t. The more you start to learn about what you are, which is absolutely completely interdependent and just a fractal of what everyone else is,  the more it starts to break down.

I can't hate myself. It just doesn't make sense.” - Sara Campbell

Following up on our retreat theme of compassion and the five skandas, Sara gives us a raw and revealing look at self compassion. Plus, she gives us the naked truth of what it was like to be Zen Center caretaker over the summer. What techniques and theories does Zen offer for cultivating self compassion and is there more to zen than zazen? Where does love and appreciation go when it can’t find its way back home? And how do we find time for self care when the problem is we’re stretched too thin in the first place?? Find out here!

A Carnage of Compassion pt 1 (Compassion Monsters & the 5 Skandas) w/ Dave Cuomo

“We don't downplay it. We don't sit here and say, ‘what I'm feeling isn't real and doesn't matter.’ It's this weird technique where it's like, no, no, go all in on it and take it very, very seriously with an enormous grain of salt.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave gives a pep talk for the deep practice of retreat (and in general) while introducing our theme for the season - the Compassion Monster, aka a Carnage of Compassion, aka the truth that everything you do, in all of your inglorious incarnations, has great value for everyone whether you believe it or not. It’s a mashup of pie in the sky mystery along with brass tacks basic technique for how we might start to notice that undeniably. Can we be any better for the world if we tried? Can we grow up AND stay weird? How should we respond to the things that go bump in the night? Find out here!

Aimless Affirmations (Empowerment vs Emptiness) w/ Sara Campbell

“If Zen's teaching me that I have inherent value just for existing, part of that whole deal is that I'm going to be doing mantras or some other wacky sh*t that I come across in six months. And I'm okay with that.” - Sara Campbell

After finding benefits in affirmative mantra practices, Sara looks back on Zen emptiness teachings to find out if there really is a contradiction between self empowerment and the enlightenment of letting go of that self entirely. What’s the difference between dropping off the self and willfully keeping it down? Is aimlessness an aspiration? Are you a bad MF and does god love you?? Find out here!

Where’d the Glow Go? (Morality) w/ Dave Cuomo

“You see the problems with the system, problems with teachers, and problems with yourself and realize, none of us can quite live up to what we're teaching here. But if I want do something actually good in the world, I can't think of anything more beneficial than providing a quiet empty room where everyone can do whatever they need to do to find some peace.“ - Dave Cuomo

Dave looks at morality in part two of his series on the paramitas, and tries to figure out what makes a good person and if that’s actually something worth aspiring to, while indulging in a little salacious storytelling of monks behaving badly along the way. How can we be good if there’s no such thing as good and evil? Is Zen amoral? Can a hypocritical, highly flawed, and all too human tradition somehow still be a font of perfect virtue? Find out here!

Fierce Compassion (The Magic Hour) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama

“Zen isn't there to sugarcoat things and cuddle you. We're not talking about being mean, we're talking about, how do we slap someone's face in the most compassionate way? (…metaphorically of course)” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei talks us through the spirit (and specifics) of… ‘Dhaaarmaaa Commbaaat!’ from the lion’s roar, to the three foot long venomous viper of truth, to how to wield the swift and silent sword of compassion ourselves. Can we learn to intuitively be what the moment needs without having to satisfy our own emotional appetites? Is compassion always kind? Is it ok to feel good when we sit?? And wait, why does Zen always get up so early and is that a hard and fast rule??? Find out here!

The Great G(r)ift (Generosity) w/ Dave Cuomo

“The benefit of you existing is you get to figure out what that means for yourself. And then you can come back and teach the rest of us about that. That is a generosity.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave gifts us with a deep dive into generosity in the first on a new series on the paramitas, aka the six perfections, aka the six things that all good Buddhas have gotten really really good at to get them where they are. What is the spirit of giving in Buddhism? How can we do our part to keep the great river of resources flowing for everyone? And how do we handle greed and jerkiness in others without turning into the sort of person we were all up in arms about in the first place? Find out here!

Clarity, Purpose, and Joy w/ Curtis Fabens

“Joy is not a failing. It’s not irresponsible. It’s not deluded. True joy is the birthright of every being. It's a normal thing.” - Curtis Fabens

Founding ACZC resident Curtis gives us an impassioned exhortation to the recipe for a life well lived - clarity, purpose, & joy. Is clarity really the path of least resistance and if so, why is it so often hard to see? Is it possible to not have purpose? Is there a fool proof trick to always hitting the payout on the slot machine of joy in every moment??

https://www.gofundme.com/f/young-cancer-warrior-loses-dad

Burn it Down (Alignment & Blockages) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama

“You burn the whole forest once. And what comes back is the same forest - the same aspiration, the same desires, the same dreams… But there's this indescribable difference. And that's what makes all the difference.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei discusses alignment, blockages, and the prickliness that comes from trying to put our own ideals on a world that might already have a few ideas of its own. Can we unblock ourselves from the limits of our own best intentions? Can we find a well adjusted place for our rebellious and independent spirits in the greater whole? Is it our job to go out there and spread the dharma or can we really just sit back and let the dharma come to us?? Find out here!!

Ruinous Revelations (Dongshan’s 'It’s Only This') w/ Dave Cuomo

“We don't need you to regurgitate our answers. We need you to go figure out who the hell you are. That's your contribution.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave shares a favorite legend about a cocky young monk crossing a river and a moment of self confidence so powerful we’re still talking about it a thousand years later. In a practice that glorifies not knowing, how do we know when we know something for certain? What is self confidence in a tradition so obsessed with no-self? Can we look up to our teachers without getting let down? Or is the goal of self actualization to not need other people at all? Find out here!

[Handout Here!]

Baseline (Finding Balance) w/ Jitsujo Gauthier

“She asked, ‘How are you?’ And I said, ‘…good.’ But it was like nothing, like plain rice, like oatmeal without sugar and you forgot to even put the dash of salt - like original flavor.” - Jitsujo Gauthier

Jitsujo, University of the West Buddhist Chaplaincy department Chair, resident priest and preceptor at Zen Center of Los Angeles, and long time friend of the sangha, generously joins us for a raw and revealing talk about rage, compassion, wisdom, the limitations of each of those grand notions, and finding the balance in the baseline that underlines it all. What causes good teachers to go bad? What do we do with our rage and where does it go when it goes away? How do we ask for help from heavenly beings when we’re not fully sold on believing in them in the first place? Find out here!

Nobody’s Fool (The Five Skandhas) w/ Dave Cuomo

“I never feel freer then when I realize I'm the schmuck I've been trying not to be this whole time. If I'm the asshole, I can't judge anybody else. And then I'm free of all of us.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave returns with another practical probe into Buddhist basics - this week, the Five Skandhas, aka Buddha’s classic formulation of what makes us us and reality (seem) real that might even offer us a little bit of free will and agency in said reality (free will not guaranteed). Is holding onto blame ever an accurate and/or helpful view? Do our Zen teachers need therapy and/or do our therapists need a little zazen? Are leaf blowers part of the problem or as they the whole solution?? Find out here!

Consistent Inconsistencies (What Am I Doing Here??) w/ Ish Lipman

“Zazen is always kind of great, even when it's awful. When I don't understand what I'm doing, I can always sit Zazen.” - Ish Lipman

Long time sangha friend Ish brings us the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here while we just maybe learn something about those things for ourselves. From atheist upbringings as a skater kid in the city to becoming an artist and embracing the meaningful meaninglessness of Zen, Ish relatably reminds us how to keep faith in not being sure what’s left to believe in. Is feeling inspired a help or a hindrance for creativity? Can we be ok with not understanding without just giving up? Is ‘being present’ just one more spiritual ideal to shoot for or is there something here we can rely on even in the face of the most certain uncertainties?? Find out here!

Baby Come Back (The Three Returns) w/ Dave Cuomo

“What was really liberating for me was finding out who I am when leaving or getting kicked out aren’t an option for anyone. When not I’m worried about my own survival or earning my place in the community, when you can't fire or cancel people or really even get away from them…. It was like, oh hey, we're actually family now.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave gets down to brass tacks basics with a deep dive into the Triple Treasures, aka the Three Returns, aka Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Can we get meaning out of a religion that isn’t willing to give us anything to believe in? How much is too much practice for lay practitioners, and how little is too little? How do we handle troubling truths, tricky teachings, and problematic people in the sangha? Can we ever actually be alone, and can we ever truly meet anyone else?? Find out here!

On the Road with Herman the Worm Boy w/ Sara Campbell

“Really question what you perceive or know and don’t draw many conclusions from it. Also don't think you know nothing. You do know something, and if you abandon what you know to be true you've missed it altogether.” - Sara Campbell

Sara sends us a dispatch from her post Zen Center exploits and dabbles in some serious storytelling with The Original Adventures of Herman the Worm Boy (as delightful as they sound) and the never ending quest for the One Mind with our old friend Huangbo. How do we take our practice out of the Zen Center and into to the real world? And what is this “real” world anyway? Is there such a thing as honest storytelling? And how DO we explain our Zen hobby to our friends and family if they ask?? Find out here!

Every Day is a Good Day w/ Shumyo Kojima

“If we do not have stress, we will not be healthy enough to survive. We have to be in this, we have to be with our enemies. Even enemies make us healthy.” - Shumyo Kojima

Special guest Reverend Shumyo Kojima, Abbot of Zenshuji Temple (North America’s oldest Zen temple (100 years and counting!)) joins us for a talk about learning to love your stress and enjoy your enemies, with colorful stories (metaphors maybe?) of catfish, eels, outhouses, and bringing the stinky and sacred together in the singularity of a bow. Is stress really the key to health and happiness? Is being weak actually a benefit to all beings? Are good and bad any more real than Santa Claus? Is there a purpose to purpose?? Find out here!

Dawdling Destiny (How I Spent My Summer Vacation) w/ Henry Zander

“Conditions can be perfectly aligned for you to do the right thing, but you have to meet that with a strength of will that comes from failing over, and over, and over again. And that's not easy.” - Henry Zander

Tasked with helming ACZC for the summer practice period, Henry boards a train and heads west for his date with destiny. Does Zen center life actually bestow us with its promised perfections? Is it possible to waste time when time is already everything? How can we uphold the great wisdom of this tradition when we’re not so sure we measure up to such a thing? Find out here!

Over the Wall (Monastic Training Report) w/ Dave Cuomo

“The world of Zen is so full of sh*t, something beautiful is bound to bloom.” - Anonymous

Our long wandering resident priest returns from his stint in Japan with tales of monkly mayhem in the monastery. Did they really beat the self out of him, or just grind it deeper? Is traditional monastic training a test of enlightenment or merely endurance? Is there a method to this madness or has it all just been one continuous mistake lost in translation?? Find out here.

Settled Questions w/ Sara Campbell

“I’ve definitely angrily swept the floor, definitely not been stoked. But I think the constraints are good for you, like in the way that creative constraints can be really helpful.

On some level its a privilege and an honor to have a community relying on you. And on some level its like goddamn it, they’ve got me.” - Sara Campbell

Sara bids farewell to her tenure as an ACZC resident and seasonal caretaker some reflections on her years as a live-in zennie and a reading from Norman Fischer on the stages of monastic life. Was it all worth it? Is residential practice the one way ticket to enlightenment? Or a convenient way to burst your bubble on all such notions? Can we have spring flowers without the cold dead winter? Find out here.

Kind Mind (Zen & Multitasking) w/ Helena Harvilicz

“Capitalism does suck, but you shouldn’t let that make you a bad worker” - Helena Harvilicz

Helena tells stories of Zen, parenting, multitasking, and a history of being half assed at work until a job came along where failure was no longer an option. Along the way we get choice selections from Dogen about the Three Minds of a good cook. Does our work need purpose to be worthwhile? And what is that supposed to look like? Did these celibate monks have any wisdom for the busy parents among us? Find out here!

Instructions for the Working Stiff w/ Emily Eslami

“Never think you’re better than the show. It’s not pleasant to work with, and it doesn’t make the work any easier.” - Emily Eslami

Emily gets brass tacks practical with a walk through Dogen’s best advice for all the working stiffs out there on not only how to get through your work day, but maybe even finding the joyful, nurturing, magnanimous mind of everything by building temples from ordinary greens and working like your head is on fire. Why are bad days and bad bosses the best opportunity to end all suffering everywhere? Is it true that the only way to follow the Way is to stop getting our way? What are Dogen’s favorite ways to prepare mushrooms?? Find out here!!